the pies captain

Everyone and their dog is trying to work out who should be Collingwood’s captain.

I’m everyone and a dog, so let me have a go.

Tarkyn Lockyer – sure he isn’t the sexy option, but he is a good footballer, an automatic selection, an honest guy, and he once cracked onto an ex of mine (if we believe her, which we don’t). He is a true blue colloingwood guy, and the players can respect his 100 work ethic.

Scott Burns – he is older than Moses, but he is tougher too. He was born to be captain of Collingwood, but now he is over that, and is really only being thought of because there is no one else.

Scott Pendlebury – no one is a bigger fan on this kid than me, if it were physically possible I’d have his babies, but what is he, like 12 years old, give me a break.

Heath Shaw – he is already the general in the back half, but his name has not been mentioned much for captaincy. He should probably be given the Vice Captaincy, but the main job is out of his reach at the moment.

Nick Maxwell - Does Collingwood want a Richie Vandenbum captaincy. Nick Maxwell is a natural leader, the players love him, the coaches love him, but come selection time, he is not in the automatic first 12. Does a man whose best attributes include shepherding and shouting encouragment really deserve to be captain?

Josh Fraser – Simply cannot be picked as Captain. Casually jogs around the ground, unless there is an open goal square. Constantly lets his man wander free, has never shown any leadership aspirations or or leadership abilities. So why now, because he wants to be the big d1ck in town. Sorry Josh, but you are not what we want or need, and the campaign you are running reeks of desperation and cheap cologne.

My pick is Lockyer, with Scott, Heath and Nick as deputies.

It's not great, but its not Josh or Richie Vandunbum either.